Mother of 2 With Type 1 Diabetes / our crazy world

Thursday, May 25, 2006

whhhhhhhhoa , night horseys

Ok yesterday Tay got aproved for the pump, happy excited,scared all of the above.
Well last night i go to JDRF awards dinner ( we hit 113,000$ total) i got my little bronze award. wooohoooo. Tay ran around and noticed all the other kids with pumps for the first time. IT was a good night.
It WAS, until i tryed to go to bed. I feel asleep so quickly and so hard. But it wasn't to last all of my dreams last night were of me and Tay be attacked or falling or getting seperated. First dream was easy enough to get over and go back to sleep, some guy, very wierd crazy guy, just came into my 1 bedroom apartment , where just tay and i were( wonder were Adam and hubby were lol), and he wasn't really attacking me. He came in waving his arms and ran into the wall and then try to go after tay, then i screamed and choked him, probally to death, i don't know becuase i woke up. That was Dream 1.

Dream 2
Tay and i were at the wherehouse, looked kinda like a construction and a mechanics shop. My hubby was in this one and he was standing on the side of the open whole in the second story floor. I went over to him and he moved outta the way , not meaning to,and tay and i fell. Well of course i turned so that i would hit the ground and Tay wouldn't. I saw us slowly falling and hubby watching , he was scared, from the second floor. Then i woke up. Piss at him for not catching us .... don't ya hate those dreams lol ....ya know its not their fault but your still mad when ya wake up.

Dream 3
Tay and i at the beach( ya know i just love the beach, NOT). The beach was pretty full, lots of people. We were out in the water as a school of clown fish come around, actually very pretty dream so far. Tay goes to catch some clownfish as she does this huge wave comes and i can't find her. I am frantic and then i hear "wakey wakey eggs and bakey" coming from Tay wakin us up becuase we slept in . lol I think this a contiuation of a dream i had last week that had to do with Tay and the water but Adam was in last weeks dream.
I never remember my dream or should say hardly ever, last night was very odd. and i usually don't dream in color but the beach dreams are in color, the clownfish were pretty and the shark in last one was so real i could have touched it.

Last weeks Dream was of Adam and Tay and I. Adam was in the background having a good time. We were at a beach but it had like a board walk that was like a wave pool. It was a wave pool in the ocean.Tay and i were holding hands and jumping thru these waves, they kept getting bigger and bigger, which wasn't a problem(tay had a life vest on). As the waves got bigger the sharks came in. Have ya ever see the movies or disney movies that have a wall of water and you can see the fish swimming thru it like your watching from a window. Thats how i saw these sharks and the other people didn't. I saw this shark not to far away and i didn't want anyone to panic so i just waved adam outta the water and tryed to get tay and i out. As i am dragging Tay out i see this shark come from below us, i see the whole thing, the face the teeth the fins the tail and it just circles alittle, but the people also see it too and the panic starts. Thank goodnes tay had the vest on becuase i told her to stay calm, she wasn't going to get pushed under. Then the shark comes straight for us, i see Tays legs danggling and the sharks mouth open, she didn't see this, so i just rolled her over the sharks head, like her legs just went right over his head and he came at me. I side step at the last minute becuase we were getting into shallow water andhe went off and no one got hurt. Do ya think i am going to the beach anytime soon........NO FREAKIN WAY.
I have no idea what this dream means at all. The other dreams I know what they are about. They are about tay and the pump and something new and unknown but exciting. And about me feeling like this is all on me, if it fails it is my fault or is something happens it is my fault, or me protecting her.

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