Mother of 2 With Type 1 Diabetes / our crazy world

Monday, May 01, 2006

Welcome MAY

Thank goodness that April is over. Now we just have 1 more month of school, Adams b-day is coming up, wow I am going to have an official "teenager" on my hands. I have a few things that I have to do this month but nothing as busy as I was in April. Maybe I can relax a little this month.

On the Diabetes monster , the kids are doing ok. Tay keeps getting this weird funky low thing that goes on in the morning. She wakes up at a decent number but then drops rapidly for some reason. Then it comes back up, sometimes not for an hour sometimes right away. I keep trying to figure it out , thinking that its some gastro-intestinal thingy. Atleast I am hoping that's what it is.

I really hate this disease. I hate the worry that comes with it. I hate the watching every thing that my kids do or don't do. I hate the constant obcessing i do. I hate that they have to worry or that when they feel bad i still have to get them to go to school. I hate that it interfers with how i can parent my kids. I hate it. I hate that i do everything i can and still sometimes its not enough. I hate that i feel i have to make them "normal" just to prove to people that they are. I hate that only people with this know what the hell i am talking about. I hate that there isn't more i can do. I hate that its a struggle every day just to feed( the right way) my kids and that i get the looks from strangers. I hate that i get festrated with this. I hate that they get festrated. I hate that thier lifes revolve around this stupid thing that has infected our lives. I hate that i have to worry about medical insurance now and forever. I hate that sometimes i want to give up. I hate that some days i do give up. I hate that some days i have to start all over. I hate that some times they don't understand why i am so mad. I hate that i have to be mad. I hate that i don't get more support.

Now that i have ranted and raved, i thinki can move on for now. I thinki really need to get some stuff straight and in order but its so overwhelming some times.

Well behaved women rarely make history!

1 Comments:

  • At 11:01 PM, Blogger Megan said…

    What you are feeling is totally normal. Diabetes is fraustrating. But it seems like you are doing well.

    I think some of the morning lows you describe would go away if doctor took them off the N. N has weird peaks.

     

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